I’m just writing for the sake of writing. This isn’t a response to anything or anyone. So if anyone feels targeted, you aren’t, alright? I just have a lot of steam to blow off. The joy of having misplaced anger issues thanks to years of being made fun of, hurt, duped (I even had someone bitch about how I was TOO NICE) but I try to control it. It works out most of the time, but close friends have seen me in my darkest moments, or have received the blunt of it. Fuck, I wouldn’t be surprised if people asked me if this was written WHILE I WAS ANGRY, or working up some anger to blow off (it would, however, explain whatever lack of coherency that would surface).

For that I’m sorry, even though words would never be enough to express it fully, and not everyone would be able to read/comment. I’m glad that (some of) my friends and family at least ACKNOWLEDGE that I’m a fuck-up when I show that particular side of me, and try to take me out of it before I go too far in the deep end.

Of course, it goes without saying that this isn’t 100% objective. Objectiveness in itself does not exist to begin with, but that is not the point.

The point is, it seems that a whole lot of people are voicing out on how their lives suck, how they don’t know what to do anymore, their parents don’t love them and all that jazz. Well my lovies and duckies, LIFE SUCKS. PEOPLE CAN SUCK TOO. We fall. We hurt. We wallow.

But one of the many aspects of growing up, besides taking a drink and being able to vote...is to PICK YOURSELVES UP. Learn from mistakes, go beyond whatever station you were in before, grow from it, become a better person. Just don’t stay in one place for too long.

I find it extremely frustrating when people don’t try to be their own individual, because Mom and Dad are hounding you to “be something that you’re not” and you hate them for it while doing squat to change it. Keep a firm foot-hold if it is what you truly want for yourself.

Hey, I know I’m not the best person out there to talk about respecting your parents in an unconditional manner (I’ve had my issues with my parents, and still do), but Mom and Dad? They’re human. They make mistakes. They’re trying their very best not to, but they still make mistakes! EVERYONE makes fucking mistakes! And does that mean that you have a right to be at everyone’s throats for making choices that don’t necessarily go with what you had planned for yourself? NO! Never never NEVER do that, because then you’re as bad as them! And this never ends, it spins out of control and before you know, everything’s broken. Doomed. Dead. At that stage, you’re at a point in your life that you hate, where you hate yourself...I mean TRULY HATE, not the oh-boohoo-my-life-sucks-i-hate-myself brand of mock hate, also known as FRUSTRATION or SELF-PITY...and you have yourself to blame for when Mom and Dad go cold on you, don’t help you and WHATEVER it is that you disliked about them when you were trying to break free.

Because when you think about it, parents have a really hard task to accomplish. I mean, not only do they have to worry about their own needs, but they have to worry about the needs of a spouse/partner and of young, frail minds. Their own children. They have to have the task of protecting, feeding, teaching...hell, they have to do EVERYTHING that a human society would offer, WITHOUT the fancy services and the taxation. THEN, when they’re done teaching everything, they have to somehow learn to distance themselves from their own creation, their own physical proof that family exists, so that the child can become its own person?

Though I’m all for the notion of being your own person and not being a mindless puppet, I can see why parents would have a hard time not indicating which way to take, even if it isn’t what the child wants. They invest so much time and effort in creating while maintaining THEMSELVES, they SHOULD have their moment of selfishness. Otherwise, something is deeply wrong, since they could have just ditched their child from the age of FOUR, which is about the time where a child has sufficient knowledge to at least make out the basics.

There ARE no mandatory classes on how to be a parent, so it of course becomes a very touch-and-go situation for them. Mistakes happen. Fuck, I’m sure that even if there were classes on how to be a parent (and not the workshop-type things that are around nowadays with self-help books and all that useless garbage), there would STILL BE MISTAKES.
AT LEAST THERE ARE PEOPLE SENSIBLE ENOUGH TO REALIZE THAT THERE ARE MISTAKES BEEN MADE. And with that comes progress, good that is trying to right the proverbial wrong.
Nothing is fool proof, if not everything would be boring. We would all lose interest in doing things, we wouldn’t look for improvement and everything would just STOP.

Does anyone have an idea what it’s like to have everything stop? Nothing going back? Nothing going forward? There would be worse unhappiness, there would be worse rebellion, there would be worse suffering for all of us.
Yes, life sucks. But that doesn’t mean that you have the right to just GIVE UP. That’s the coward’s way out, and no one in their right mind should have to use that way. We all deserve the very best out there, unless we work to destroy the very best. By then you’ve lost yourself, and you’re a coward. You’re weak. A joke. A fucking goddamn waste of resources, time, energy and....(might I even chance it in saying) love.

I’m done. Done with an ever-constant sense wallowing, self-pitying and being all-around frustrated with myself. My life has looked less bleak because I've cut out a large part of it out of my life. And everyone who’s stumbled on this and read the whole thing should too. BECAUSE WHO WANTS TO HANG OUT WITH SOMEONE WHO HATES THEIR GUTS 24/7 AND SHOWS IT OR HIDES IT IN A SHITTY MANNER? Apart from those who have a messiah complex, or are willing to stick with you no matter what...no one, that’s who.

Of course, I'm not saying that you should always be happy-wappy and plastic. It's just that there so much MORE to life than hanging out in your little dark corner.

So sit down, SHUT UP, and instead of talking about it, DO SOMETHING TO MAKE IT BETTER FOR YOU; since you can only really be a part of the general solution if you’ve figured yourself out.